How can we know?  Do we know based on what feels right?  If we tie our decision to what is in the Bible, are we being overly legalistic, judgmental, and unloving, or wise?  What are our choices and what do we base our decisions on?

The love of God comes through scripture when we understand what God is saying to us through it, and God loves marriages and people.

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The wise spouse finds joy and brings it in to the family rather than waiting for it to come.

Recommended Reading

• 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships 
• 300 Creative Dates
• Michael Webb’s Relationship Collection

I bought the whole collection which included the first two e-books along with several other e-books, audio files, etc.  Michael Webb’s 300 Creative Dates shows how the quality of a date does not depend on how much you splurge but on how it improves the quality of your time together.

The other e-book, 50 Secrets, comes with another e-book called 50 More Secrets of Blissful Relationships.  I would like to see more couples get these books and study them before marriage along with the 1000 Questions for Couples e-book and then study the 50 Secrets book again after marriage for reinforcement.

1. The one night stand
2. The entrenched affair
3. The sexual addiction

Unfortunately, most faithful spouses panic and do crazy things that often helps put the tombstone on the grave of the marriage.

That is not to blame faithful spouses for the affairs.  The affair is always the fault of those who participate in it and never the fault of the rest of the family under any circumstances.  But, whether the marriage can be saved or not, it is vital for the faithful spouse to get some quick healing, strength, wisdom, and confidence to move foward toward the best resolution to this problem rather than flail in pain and lose everything.

Recommended Reading

Break Free From the Affair by Dr. Bob Huizenga is a set of e-books you can purchase and download online.  The advantage of going this route is that couples in damaged relationships often continue to escalate the damage rapidly.  Bob Huizenga has over 20 years of counseling experience and degrees in marriage and family therapy and theology.

Divorce Busting also provides excellent coaching specialized in saving marriages by licensed counselors trained by Michele Weiner Davis in Solution Oriented Brief Therapy which is known for getting fast and lasting results.  You can schedule a phone counseling appointment with one of their counselors by calling (800)664-2435 or (815)337-8000.

If your marriage has already died a painful death and you want to find help reconciling with your ex for the sake of the children whether you wish to reconcile to friendship or to work all the way back to reconstructing your marriage, Dr. Jim A. Talley can be reached at (405)728-1666.

The Anatomy of an Affair can be helpful also if your marriage has been totally destroyed.  You can learn more about affairs and what causes people to go into them and what keeps them stuck in the affairs.  If you are about to be forced through a divorce you don’t want, there are also some materials to help you prepare and protect yourself and your family as much as possible, though divorce is not an easy or fair thing to go through.  But, for saving the marriage, I would recommend Dr. Huizenga’s book first.

Dr. Frank Gunzberg’s book Surviving an Affair can help a marriage recover from an affair as well.

Michael Webb’s Relationship Collection also includes coaching and a substantial library of books on everything related to marriage and romantic relationships, saving marriages, surviving affairs, dealing with divorce, but it also goes into covers dating or courting, premarital questions for couples, an intimacy quiz for married couples, emotional control and boundaries and more.